


guess this is living (could you come again?)

by fiftymissioncap



Category: The Good Wife (TV)
Genre: F/M, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-21
Updated: 2013-08-21
Packaged: 2017-12-24 04:55:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/935635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fiftymissioncap/pseuds/fiftymissioncap
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He can't save her. But he can break her, even.</p><p>Set during first half of season 4. Will, Kalinda, and the wrong kind of saving.</p>
            </blockquote>





	guess this is living (could you come again?)

She's lost. He can see it, the deadweight in her eyes when he's pounding into her. She's cracked glass against his palms, the sour of the lemon before the burning of the tequila. 

 

She's spiralling, crumbling, plunging. She's lost in this world where there is only him and her and fire, everywhere. Him, being however he is, damn narcissistic psychopath, and her, being the one before, with timid hands and shaky breaths. She's gripping at things that aren't real, that are searing with the inferno of discontent.

 

So he fucks her.

 

It's sick, but it's natural. For two cynics, it's the only way he can help. _Catharsis_. Break her, cleanly. As cleanly as one can break when matters of the...of the _heart_ are involved, thick shards of tempered glass split in points and edges. Or maybe fibre glass, lightweight and sturdy, flexible.

 

He can only guess about this man-he doesn't pry in Kalinda's life, just as she pries in his. But he wants to _kill_ him, stab one of those Kalinda-shards straight into his jugular, let him bleed out like he was making Kalinda bleed. This is why he pushes her towards women, because he knows that men are vile, destructive creatures. Knows because he is one, currently fucking his best friend, knows just who _her_ best friend is.

 

He can't save her, though. He can't and he won't and she doesn't need him to. She's better off saving herself, like she saves him, saves Alicia. She's superwoman and he's never been a knight in shining armour, the sheen of the suit too tempting to wager. He'll stick to his equally-costly two-piece.

 

But this; this is the only thing he can give her, a final breaking point. She's painfully hot and tight and wet in the most pleasurable ways but her lips are cold and lifeless, eyes not looking even when they're pointed straight at his. He's a man though, in all vile ways, and he can't help but enjoy every sensation, every little feeling. It doesn't take long to figure out that this is going to hurt him in more ways than it will hurt her-sex is business for her, pleasure for him, but this is neither of those and Kalinda even in her stupor is still better at compartmentalizing than he'll ever be. Her breath, jagged and soft, hurting. Hurting him.

 

This means nothing, and it means everything, and Will thinks that sleeping with Kalinda is the closest thing to death that can be survived, _la petite mort_. Survived, a term being given loosely. What defines survival? _Alive,_ a term purposefully unused. His best friend. His best friend, dying. 

 

And they are pushed over the edge, _together_ , a word that is strangely ill-fitting of this situation, because they both have their parachutes but Will can only hope that she'll deploy hers. 

 

He can't save her. But he can break her even. Fuck her, to catharsis, two sick, sick people. It doesn't matter about tomorrow, because he has to make sure she can survive today.

 

Tomorrow, he'll wake up. And he can only hope she'll do the same.

 

**Author's Note:**

> not sure where this came from but i tried :) who's excited for season 5?
> 
> title credit goes to come again by thornley


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